*Edited* Is anyone else’s marriage just a partnership?

I know I can’t be the only one. My husband and I are only together for our children. We work well together as parents and provide them stability. But there is no love between us. Actually I love him, very much, always have. But he has never loved me. He loves someone else, someone he was cheating on me with, that he continues to only speak to every now and then and has made it clear to me that this person is not to go away, that she will always be in his mind and heart. That he is here physically 100% and I need to find a way to deal with it. This eats away at me daily bc I’ll never know what it’s like to be loved and it kills me emotionally knowing this. He was my first/only relationship. Anyway, my question to those, if there are any, in the same situation as me is how do you cope, how do you keep yourself together? Maybe there are some hobbies or classes I can take to keep my mind as distracted as possible so I don’t have to focus on this?


I appreciate those of you who took the time to comment and express your concern. If it was as simple as getting up and leaving and putting myself first then I would have done that a long time ago. But life isn’t that cut and dry and some of us make sacrifices that don’t go along with the majority.

Only one person actually took the time to read and understand what I was asking and answer honestly. So I would like to thank that person here instead of on her comment since I would like to remain anonymous. Thank you K for giving advice and support on how to make this situation work.


7/20 - I did not think my post would cause this much commotion and bickering between women. I certainly did not expect everyone to interject their own assumptions and opinions that I am being abused, that we appear unhappy in front of our children, that he is an uninvolved parent, and the list goes on. Yes this is a very strange concept for people nowadays to grasp. And that is because this society has worked so hard to destroy the concept of family and values self-centeredness. In situations where the things mentioned below apply, then divorcing is the best thing for the safety of those involved. In my case none of that exists. Yes I am not loved by my husband, I wish I was and that’s something I need to cope with which was the reason of my post. But he has always treated me with respect in front of our children and our families. Even privately he does not speak to me in any untoward manner. His priority is our children and the success of our family. Yes he loves and speaks to this other person on occasion. He does not see her, ever. Things may change, there is no way to predict the future. This can be said about each and every one of your relationships. Just because you’re madly in love with your spouse now does not mean that you or they will always feel that way. Are your children that unimportant to you that you would sacrifice their stability so that you can be “happy”?

Again, I would like to thank the very few women that have taken the time to share their personal experience good and bad and not the experience of someone else. I especially appreciate the comments of those who took the time to try to understand and offered support.