I feel confused about cheating dynamics

I saw a post today in this group from a woman who had cheated on her husband for quite a while, two full on affairs that he didn’t and doesn’t still know about many years later.

It left me quite shook because on one hand I felt a brutal pain in my heart for him that he’s lived a complete lie and doesn’t know the betrayal that is under his feet, etc. Then I read her reason and rhymes, I could see almost both sides of the coin so to say, I guess?

I remembered when I found out my partner of two years had been having an affair on me behind my back for a whole year and a half with his best friend whom I even suspected from the get go but said and didn’t nothing because I didn’t want to seem like the bad guy and typical “you can’t have a female best friend blah blah blah” All these weird signs I knew and saw but swept under me for the sake of not coming across as controlling or mental. Either way I found out because I got too curious and confronted, he admitted, I was destroyed and I stayed for a further few years, regrettably. Never looked at him the same after, I became emotionally abusive and he left me the day before our 5th year anniversary as my dad was struggling with aggressive cancer that I was dealing with all on my own, my mental health spiralled and I shut off for a good while and he just said “I can’t do this” over Facebook and that was it. Never saw him again because I couldn’t fight it, didn’t even want too and I blocked him instantly, I knew I didn’t love him and I should have left so so much earlier but was a pure coward. We were 13 when it started and 18 when it finished. I’m now in my twenties, pregnant with my first and engaged to a man beyond my dreams but I have never gotten over the betrayal I endured and how badly it ruined my confidence. So when I saw her post, even with the slightest of understanding for her I was in pain for her husband that one day he might endure my pain or worse?

Would it have been better if I never found out about my ex cheating on me the way he did or was knowing better? Would you want to know or never be told and get left? I know the kind of criticism I’ll probably get on this and that’s fine but I’m human, remember that.