Mind blown

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and just now found out that he raves. He’s been to many raves in our relationship, but I only caught him at one because I see him in a picture of a friends post. I’m actually very mind blown. He told me it’s not something I need to know because I don’t rave. It kind of hurt me in a way. I now realized why he’s been so absent in my 2 year old life because he’s been out and about partying, raving, drinking, and getting high every week. We live 20 minutes away from each other and he only has time on the weekends, but he has not came to see our daughter for well over a month now. He always told me to hold it down, but I find it very unfair that he still lives his life while I’m basically a single mother raising our toddler. This is a pic of conversation about him raving, idk what to think about his responses. I also wish I was strong enough to speak my mind, but in a way I’m kind of scared to tell him off. What do you guys think? Please, no rude comments.