Is this my way out?


Long post warning

Been with my fiancé 8 years, childhood sweethearts. Let’s call him mike. Let’s call his dad Paul and his mum Ruth. We now have a 9 month old daughter.

I’ve made a lot of posts on here about the difficulties between myself and Paul (fil) and Ruth (mil). Feel free to go read as I’m not including all details here.

At the beginning of our relationship, I made a big effort with the family, always attended family functions etc. For whatever reason I just never got vibes that I was truly liked. Ruth is two faced and can be very nasty about people, mostly behind their backs. She’s been this way about me a lot. Paul is a very odd character who is 100% a sexual predator. He treats people like shit, degrades people, and sexually harasses women. Meanwhile Ruth allows this and I would actually say she encourages it.

9 out of 10 times I’m around Paul, he just can’t help himself to make sexual remarks to me and/or get a bit too close for comfort physically. At a family function I was a teenage girl , I had been drinking and got drunk (wrong I know but beside the point) and he had sexually grabbed my ass. Should point out he was sober, he usually is.

I kept quiet about this but it really had an impact me so spoke to mike about it. While he agrees it’s wrong he has never done anything about it.

Ruth sees his behaviour on a daily basis. He hasn’t just done stuff like this to me. It’s to Ruth’s sisters, female colleagues, waitresses etc. And she just laughs it off. She has never stuck up for me and there’s no way she can’t see how uncomfortable I am.

Any way since this happened I’ve avoided all family functions that I possibly can. I avoid day to day interactions whenever possible. But now mike and I have a daughter, and its not so simple.

I don’t want my daughter to be subject to that behaviour, or witness it happening to me, her mother.

Mikes sister just got engaged and is having a party which I know I HAVE to go to. I’ve battled with the idea of going but now I have an idea.

If I go, I will have to get drunk to cope with the anxiety. But it’s a 99% chance Paul will do something like this to me again if I go.

And if that happened, maybe I could use that as my excuse to never have them come near me again?

To never come near my daughter again?

It would be the perfect opportunity to confront them about everything?

Should I do this? I know I’m going to be harshly judged here, but you have no idea how many years I’ve been dealing with this. It’s extreme I know, but I’m desperate. Also, too many years have gone by to bring up the previous incident.

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