I spent well over a year in my relationship feeling broken hearted, angry and insecure. There was more problems than I could count on all my fingers and toes, there was two definitive points said to myself that I needed to leave and stop trying. Granted, a lot of you will still think I should have, will insult me with all of your spite under the sun and I do somewhat accept that because it’s a well known thing that anyone who stays with an abusive person just from then gets looked down on, considered stupid, crazy, weak, etc.

Have I broken the stigma? Will it happen again? Who knows. I really can’t answer it but yes, the relationship had full on domestic violence and abuse. It was one of the worst times and relationships I’d had in my life, I still often wonder how the hell I got through it or even wanted too. But intense therapy on both sides, learning to communicate like adults, actually deciding to listen too each other and incorporate more respect for one another. Things improved, beyond what I ever thought they could. Over a year and a half later, not one sign or fleet of violence has occurred and although we have normal relationship spats, neither of us are scared or angry people. We just talk, listen and show respect. Expecting our first ever child and I feel beyond blessed to have him by my side, how he nourishes me, helps me and gives me a more positive time in life far from the way we started out together. I can confidently and comfortably say this is the man I want to depend the rest of my life with.

Maybe it’s possible and maybe it’s not but I just want to give hope for anyone out there engaged, married or in a relationship with someone they truly want but it feels hopeless, a little outside help and understanding into self behaviours from both sides can change a lot for your futures. It doesn’t always go like that and in fact over 80% of the time it doesn’t but I have hope mine will define those odds. ❤️