is okay to not feed your baby when they wake up at night?

Question

i really don’t want to be judged for this as i’m a first time mom, i know nothing about sleep training, i was NOT trying to put my sleep above my child’s hunger. i feel guilty about this to my core, i don’t want to be mom-shamed. i already tried to post this in a facebook group but the admins were worried some moms would see it as abuse so it didn’t get posted. i really need some feedback on this please.. i’m a good mother i love my child endlessly, this was in no way shape or form intentional neglect. 
so i read this article about how to help your baby sleep through the night, and it said that you need to teach them that night time isn't play time or eating time, it's sleeping time. It was basically saying that if the baby wakes up, it's okay to just change their diaper and rock them back to sleep instead of feeding them like normal. Another article said that babies will wake up at night because they are used to eating, not because they need to, and they don't need the "nighttime calories" in order to grow properly. So my daughter just turned 3 months and usually wakes up once a night to eat, and last night i tried this method out. She woke up at 4 and i changed her diaper and put her paci in, she didn't sleep for long so i took her out of her bassinet and cuddled her, and she went back to sleep. this was a cycle until 7am when i finally looked at the clock again and realized it was morning. this is when she ate. I hadn't realized it was early morning or I would've fed her hours ago. I honestly feel like such a piece of trash mom. My baby was crying out of hunger and i was ignoring her. It actually makes me feel sick. I will not be trying this method again. Has anybody else tried this? Is there anyone in here who doesn't feed their baby when they wake up at night? like does anybody actually soothe their baby to sleep in the middle of the night instead of feeding? I think i would feel a lot better if i wasn't the only one who did this..

Answer

3 months would Definitely be to early to start sleep training, she wakes up because she’s hungry not because she’s used to being fed. I wouldn’t try that method until she’s older.

Answer

A baby that young has such a small stomach and digests their food so fast. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to feed your baby when they wake up. I get that you’re a first time mom, but this isn’t okay. Next time, just feed your kid.

Answer

At 3 months unfortunately I’d say you have to wake up. It’s hard & I sympathize with you mama. Do you have a partner that can help with night feeds?

Answer

No, I don’t believe in that method. Babies cry for a reason. They wake up hungry and they have to be fed. 
I do attachment parenting. I rock my child to sleep every night and they are 3 years old. They also get rocked for naps. Eventually your child will sleep through the night without needing to be fed, but at 3 months, that isn’t the time. She is still hungry so her hunger cues need to be addressed and she needs to be fed. 
Sleep training doesn’t work for all babies and some mothers don’t believe in it. I don’t believe in crying it out, I don’t believe in many methods. 
You can start creating a routine but you cannot just stop feeding her one night, especially if she’s hungry. Some babies are also hungrier than others and that’s ok. 
If you have concerns, speak with your pediatrician about them, and they can better help you as they know your child better than the internet.

Answer

Don't put yourself down, and your not a trash mother either. Your a first time mom and its okay to ask questions because this is all brand new to us.

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Posting this to help stop the guilt, if I can. I stopped the overnight feeds at 12 weeks old. Last feed was at 7pm, then down for the night. Morning feed was anywhere between 5am-7am, whenever he woke up for the day. I didn’t sleep train him at 12 weeks old, just got him off the “24 hour digestion train,” as they call it. Today, he’s a thriving 9 month old in the 50th percentile for his weight with super chubby thighs. All babies are different, and this is true in ALL categories, so to say that all babies need to  be fed overnight at this age is inaccurate. If you feel like your baby is starving, by all means feed them. If you feel like they are just waking out of habit as opposed to hunger, follow your instinct. Good luck, mama! The best thing you can do for yourself is to completely ignore the mom shamers, in all aspects. Social media is awful.

Answer

I feel a few people are very judge-y especially when ALL babies are different and you were only asking politely for advice. 
My little is 4 months old now and from about 3 months when I would get up to feed him, as soon as I picked him up from him stirring he would be fast asleep and I used to feed him anyway. However when it went on like this and he was fully asleep I tried the pacifier instead of the feed just for comfort and he took it for a while, spat it out and slept right through til morning. 
This was only a once in the night feed which is now non existent because he has the pacifier for comfort. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes when I give him the pacifier at 4am he rejects it and wants fed which is absolutely fine. But unless he’s actually telling me he wants fed by rejecting the pacifier and not settling, then he’ll sleep right through.
Yes some babies need fed more than others, yes some babies won’t sleep as much as others, but again all babies are different and a hungry baby is a hungry baby therefore will TELL YOU when they want fed and will not accept anything other than that. 
Don’t beat yourself up, if your baby is hungry then feed her. If she wants comforted then comfort her. YOU are mama and YOU know best.

Answer

My little one is 11 months old and he will still nurse in the middle of the night. 
I promise I’m not trying to shame you or make you feel bad but just saying, 3 months is still very little. They have tiny tummies and need to eat often. Don’t listen to people saying you need to do this or that or your baby shouldn’t be waking up. Every baby is different. Babies don’t cry for funsies or because they are “spoiled”. They cry because they need something whether it’s food, a new diaper, or comfort. 
It is totally ok to feel your baby in the middle of the night. 🥰

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Sleep train at 16 weeks. Sleep training does not mean stop feeding your baby at night. Babies should be fed at night up until anywhere between 8-11 months old depending on what your doctor says. Sleep training means falling asleep without being rocked or comforted by mom or dad. Always feed at night at this age. Always. They will naturally drop night feedings as they get older.

Answer

3 month olds don’t emotionally manipulate you, or get used to routines like that. They don’t wake up just because. They digest food SO quickly so if baby is waking up every few hours still... probably hungry. I believe in the CIO method to an extent, as in if I’ve fed and changed her and it’s sleep time I’ll let her cry a little bit and she usually self soothes after about 5 minutes.

is okay to not feed your baby when they wake up at night?

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