I’m going to try to put as much detail in this to get the best advice/opinions on this situation. Bare with me.

I asked the guy I’ve been dating/talking to if he ever wanted kids in the future- because I think that’s a normal question to ask someone you are potentially going to be serious with.

He said that he does but his answer is more complex. We talked on the phone and he explained that he would like kids but that the idea kind of freaks him out due to his dad abandoning him and his mom when he was 1 years old and his grandfather doing the same to his dad.

He said he has never dated anyone with a kid (I have a toddler) and that he didn’t have a male figure in his life, only his mom and sisters— so it worries him that he won’t know how to be a dad.

We talked about it more and he explained further that—

“For me, I don’t mind that you have a child—I’m coming from a place where I have never had a child myself nor have I had a good example on how to be a positive male figure in a child’s life. That doesn’t mean I’m bad, it just means I’m sensitive to something that you are probably looking for—and that just means I care a lot.

When I’m asking your availability, I’m asking because I don’t want you to feel like you need to make up for your priorities not being me, and that’s okay. I understand that he is more important than me, and I care about that too. The other side of this is, I respect your time and I want to spend mine with you.

I worry down the line me having a child will end up scaring him away and that he will actually never want kids— I just don’t want to waste my time. He is an amazing man and we vibe so well.

What are your guys’ opinions? Please be honest.