Could I be pregnant?

I had spotting the 24 25 and the 26 the 26 was a little bit more than spotting but still nothing like a period I'm thinking it could have been implementation bleeding im happy if I am but I'm also scared I want to be excited but also want to cry for a few reasons may 17 I was 36+ weeks and had my 4th C-section but it wasn't a happy day my daughter was stillborn she should have been here June 20 but I somehow at a sonogram didn't have any fluid and my baby got an infection and passed away in me I'm still trying to deal with that I started trying for my rainbow baby like my Dr told me I could but I didn't think I could possibly get pregnant this soon I hope I am because I want to hold a baby but I'm so scared that it could happen again my period should start in 4 days I really hope that 2019 will become a better year because so far it has been the hardest year of my life