I decided to fall back

I like this guy and we told each other in the beginning that neither of us were ready to be in anything serious. For a few weeks we saw each other weekly and we talk everyday. The way i liked him was fear based though, it was very toxic. I never expressed all the anxiety, worrying, and crying i did so to him everything was fine. Things got slower, he stopped coming every week but we continued to talk daily. I’d still see him though. The way the situation made me feel was horrible bc i have ALOT of personal healing to do. I’d feel knots in my stomach if he didn’t text me or call. I’d worry over his where abouts.. it was sad and embarrassing. Today I sent that text saying I’m gonna be taking a hiatus and I’m sad ab it. I have thoughts of him not caring, thoughts he’s dealing with someone else, but the thing I’m the most proud of is putting myself first and choosing to get better. If he’s for me at any point in my life he will be, but I’m with me forever. So gotta take care of myself