Pregnancy anxiety

So my husband and I have been trying for two years and I’m currently 5 days late on my period. I want to take a test but I’m so scared because two things: 1- the past two years it’s always been a negative and then the next day I start my period and I want a baby so bad and I don’t want to be crushed again. 2- I struggle really bad with body dysphasia. I was 198 last year and now I’m 132, and I still think of myself as fat and disgusting. So I’m having anxiety with getting pregnant and gaining weight. I can’t explain this correctly to my husband because it gets confusing & he thinks I don’t love him or want a child with him.

Any advice? 🥺