Do you know how stressful it is to wonder if tonight you’ll be getting a good sleep or if you’ll be having another panic attack? How fucked Ik is this- I’m not stressed about anything to the point it deserves a fucking panic attack. But then out of no where, for the first time ever at 18 I got one that was BAD. Like I’ve maybe at 2 v little ones and that was brought on by my social anxiety. But this shit? I’m just trying to sleep dude. Why do I get a panic attack when everything is fine. Like call the fuck down. Breathe. My heart needs to figure out what pace it wants to go at and stick tf with it. Preferably staying in the 80’s cuz anything too low or high freaks me out.

But now that I had one very bad panic attack (not knowing that’s what was happening att) I’ve been very stressed ab them. Cuz two weeks straight of having them alllll day for the most part. Now it’s at random. Like haven’t had one in a week and now here I am, feeling dizzy, Hearts palpitating , then I start getting scared cuz what if imma die??

I JUST WANT TO SLEEP. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?? HMM?