Well July 31 was my due date. On July 30 my water broke around 9:30pm after doing the “baby momma” dance 3 times in a row. By 10:30pm I was admitted to the hospital. I was 3cm dilated 100% effaced. I requested an epidural. Somehow I managed to sleep between contractions most of the night. Around 4:30am the Anesthesiologist finally showed up, at this point I was 6cm dilated. By 5:00am the epidural was in and I could finally relax! I slept most of the morning. Of course, in between the nurses coming in to check on baby and I. Around 10am I was awake and felt good. Today was the day! I was finally going to get to hold my little man! Little did I know he’d be taken as soon as he was pulled out.. 10:30am roles around and I’m 10cm dilated now. The midwife gives me the option to rest for an hour before I start pushing or to start now. Because I had slept for a few hours, I decided to wait the hour because my epidural was controlled by a button I had to press. 11:30am and it’s time to start pushing, in between each contraction I’m asleep because I was tired and felt sick. 2 hours of pushing later, 1:30pm, I start to notice that my epidural is worn off and I’m feeling everything in full force! I tell the nurse in my room and she realizes that the epidural had disconnected from the drip bag and was in fact dripping on the floor, not into the IV in my arm. I tell them I cant push anymore it’s too much pain. They page the Anesthesiologist to come and fix it. He comes up around 2:15pm and decides I need a new epidural put it. He goes ahead and puts it in. Everything is going great again. Around 2:30pm I knew I could start pushing again, so I did. I pushed until 3:15pm and then noticed the epidural wore off AGAIN. The Anesthesiologist comes back in around 4:00pm and fixes whatever the problem is. I’m ready to push again! Only I’m not.. my sons head has been halfway out of me since almost 1:30pm. I start pushing because I don’t know what else to do. The epidural still not kicked in yet. Around 5pm I hear the midwife whisper call the OB team and call the NICU team asap! Within seconds my room was filled with people I didn’t know. At 5:25 they decided in order for him to come out he needed to be suctioned out. At 5:37pm he was out! I was so relieved but he wasn’t crying and he was grey.. they take him away before I can even see him. He was 8lb 8oz and they had to cut me to get him out. As the OB team stitches me up I can hear the NICU team trying to get my baby to breathe. A few seconds later they rush out with him. Every time I asked about him, they told me they hadn’t heard anything. My family members went to see him, wherever he was. But told me he was doing good when I asked. 4 hours later a nurse comes into my room and tells me that my son is and has been in respiratory distress since before the last push that brought him into the world. He’s hooked up to oxygen because he can’t breathe on his own. That he also has a hematoma from the suctioning and that he is on antibiotics for at least 4 days. I’m shocked. They finally let me go see him on my way to postpartum care. He looks so sad hooked up to those wires and I can’t help but think it’s all my fault😞😞😭