Tired of the Disappointment

We’ve been TTC going on 13 months now. I think I’m 13DPO, just got a negative a few minutes ago. I get so tired of fighting this fight. It’s mentally exhausting. It’s been a rough night anyways, dealing with the reality of my fertility issues. Testing wasn’t really a good thing to do tonight, but I want to know. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life, but I feel like giving up. I don’t want to deal with the constant disappointment and feeling like I’m never going to be a mom. The doctor is giving me Clomid after I test negative on this cycle. I can’t even get excited for that right now, because I fully believe it’s never going to happen. How do you ladies cope? I just feel thoroughly disgusted with myself right now because my body can’t even work properly. I always felt like my purpose was to be a mom, but now what?

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