Give but don’t Recieve ?

So I’ve been with my long term boyfriend for years. We’ve both have gave head, but we haven’t fucked yet. At the most he’s probably put the tip in (i get really tense and it makes it hard for us). We are a ldr and every time we see each other we take advantage of our “sexy time”. I make sure i just got out of the shower, shaved, put a whole ass nice piece of lingerie, then I go down on him. While I’m going down on him, the most he does is rub my clit. We’ve started using fingers recently, but I have to cut him off bc I get the urge to squirt. So my problem is : I give head more than twice a day every time I see him. And he gives me head maybe once every other time I go visit him. And it’s maybe for 30 secs or less.

I brought this up to him, making sure he was comfortable going down on me. I didn’t want to pressure him to do it. I never orgasm but he ALWAYS finishes when I give him top. He tells me that “He doesn’t think he’s good”, but yet he sees how I buck my hips and moan. I think it’s a terrible excuse. I don’t know if he’s lying about something, but it makes me feel pretty shitty about myself, like if there’s something wrong with me. I’ve thought about not giving him head and seeing how he reacts but I don’t like the idea of that. Can anyone relate? Or maybe know why he doesn’t go down on me. I don’t ever force him, he’s never said no. I just get really jealous when I see many girls on here bragging how their mans ate them out until they came, but my bf doesn’t even do it long enough for me to get there.