I’m not a good person. I deserve to be left. I’m too chicken shit to admit it to anyone but myself. I tell my husband, “I’m just waiting for the day you leave me.” Because I feel like he is and I am so fucking stupid that I like to hear his reassurance even though it makes me hate myself even more.

Fuck me. I know we all want to go back to a certain age but I’m desperate to go back to 13. Right before I started being a whore.

I know I’m being unhealthy and I’m doing my best to change it. I’m just venting. *sigh*