I could write a very long, detailed post about why I only want our (my husband and I's) parents and siblings who travel with them in the waiting room and then after in the hospital/post partum room for our second child.

But I'm gonna say why like this..it was chaos with my first daughter.

I wanted this time to be relaxing and peaceful for everybody. Where the most important people can bond with her and get to hold her.

I want no visitors while I'm in labor, want to hold her for an hour to two hours uninterrupted, then my husband take her to the waiting room to visit our parents and them hold her while the nurses help get me discharged to the post partum room, I can get cleaned up, change out of after birth clothes, brush my hair, and wash the sweat off of my face.

The reason I don't want to invite our grandparents, aunts, uncle's, friends, etc is because I wanted peace. I didn't want her to be tossed around a huge room of people. I wanted control over who saw her so the most important people got their fair share of time with her. Then after I was all ready for visitors, they can come into the room with all of us. They can talk, hold her, hang out. Just peace.

Now my husband is wanting to invite his grandmother. While she is a great wonderful woman, I explained that if we invite his grandmother, we would also need to invite mine and his mother's mom. He said "why?" 🤦 Because it would be hurtful not too. It would add more people to the list of visitors and people in my room after. I have anxiety and wanted it small.

Then he said "well they don't have to go into the room with you?" I replied, yeah cause that wouldn't hurt them at all..

Then he went on to say he thinks it would be better to let WHOEVER wanted to be there, be there only in the waiting room. Then tell those people who aren't "our select few" that they probably won't get a chance to hold her. 🙄

To me, that outs like a ton of people. People who would feel like they wasted their time driving up there (some people over an hour), to sit there for hours, to be turned away from the rest of the family.

"That's a risk they'd make, not my fault" he said.

His way literally would cause a lot of people to feel left out and upset. The reason I wanted just our parents is because that would be understandable to everyone (at least I thought so) and nobody would feel left out.

We could have a peaceful, quiet visit without loudness and chaos.

Then everyone else can visit us in the peacefulness of our home. They can spend as long as they want holding her and talking vs having to pass her around.

Does my way or his sound better?

I'm 38 weeks and STRESSING.