Trying so hard

Well I was pregnant with twin girl's me and my husband were super excited along with a few family members (we have 4 son's and lost 2 girl's so you can only imagine) we knew I was high risk so I didn't let myself get stressed out and basically only did the little that I was supposed to be doing. I went for an sonogram as I've been going for the past 4 and a half months and all of a sudden they tell me my little girl's no longer have heartbeats, I broke down in my doctor's office and I can hear the nurse talking shit about me (basically saying she shouldn't even be upset the bitch already has so many kid's) anyways I had 2 options let me body do it's thing or let the doctor's do it for me I decided to let my body do it's thing. I swear I've never cried so much in my life I felt lost within 2 to 3 days my body delivered my baby girl's and I've just felt lost.

So in February a few weeks after I lost my girl's I told my husband I wanted another baby at first he flat out said no and I understood why, we just lost our daughters and our son's are still young 9,4,3 and 2 but me being me I told him I want another baby, he know's me very well I won't stop until I get what I want so he said we can try but not to get my hopes up because we never know what might happen. So now I'm hoping and praying that this month I was finally able to get pregnant.

Pray that I am ladies