I love my kids. I love my husband. But I don’t love how overwhelmed I am. I have an almost 3 yr old and a 2 month old. My two month old won’t let me put him down. My toddler needs my constant attention. My husband is messy. I feel like I’m losing my mind. My husband works 10-12 hr days. I do night time alone and it’s a fucking struggle. I end up yelling at my toddler to go to sleep because I just can’t take laying with her for an hour while holding a screaming breastfeeding baby. I’ve tried to give him a bottle but he just wants to breastfeed. I feel so shitty for yelling at my toddler. She doesn’t deserve it. I am so physically tired and by the end of the day mentally tired too. My husband wants to have sex but all I want to do is lay in peace and quiet. I stay home with them all day everyday. I have family that can come and “help” when they are able to. My husband thinks something is wrong because I don’t want to have sex. I’m taking celexa which helps some. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist and psychologist to help me. I am seriously angry every day. I can feel my anger in my head building up. What else can I do?? I haven’t been able to do my hair or really my makeup or get my eyebrows waxed. It’s silly but it makes me feel better about myself. I gained 70 pounds during pregnancy. I am 5’6” and weighed 160 pre pregnancy. I gained 70 pounds and I’m at 203 now. It’s depressing to me because I feel so ugly. I bought some jeans and a couple shirts. I never get any compliments from my husband which makes me feel even more uglier. I’ve told him all of these things.