Ok so.

I had a fwb, basically, we went on a few dates, but I decided I didn't want to be in a relationship and wanted to try being openly polyamourous. I told him & he agreed and said I wasn't obligated to him. He is really cool and I've enjoyed our talks and time together. (Mostly not physical, but it happened occasionally.) We hung out rarely, he didn't respond to my texts a lot, he never called, he didn't mind when I tried online dating and told him. We had a cool, casual thing. No strings, veryyyy relaxed. He said I didn't have to tell him if I dated or slept with someone else. I only dated someone else.

Well then I met someone new where we work, and I wasn't sure how it would go, and we had a lot of differences that were kinda concerning, so I wasn't sure it could go anywhere. But we really jive together super well and I feel a really amazing connection with him and we have such nice moments together- he challenges me, he's reliable, he's brave and tells me how he really feels... basically I start to fall for him, he asks me to be his girlfriend, I said no because I didn't want a relationship. But then I realize I do want one with him because of how I feel.

I tell the fwb I'll probably be in a relationship soon. He says it kinda sucks, but he understands.

So I got a boyfriend in the meantime.

But yesterday he gets very upset and basically says he wanted to be with me the whole time but was afraid to say so because it's not what I said I wanted... and he's so upset and I feel horrible for hurting him...

Am I a jerk?

I feel like I can't rethink my relationship now that I'm in it for another person. I err on the side of never doing that, and my bf is actually so amazing so far.

I don't really know why I didn't exclusively date the fwb. But I'm mad he told me he was happy with our relationship when it wasn't what he wanted :/

We had a lot in common, but I never saw enough initiative from him, he's not that reliable, he wasn't there for me a couple times, I didn't think he cared! This has kinda blindsided me like me dating someone blindsided him!

Like he's cool, I don't know why it seems like I have a better connection with the new person.