kinda coming out of an abusive relationship?

i’m trans ftm. my ex boyfriend was incredibly accepting of it, so much to the point where i would rarely get dysphoric during sex. however the abuse was physical and due to me saying something dumb, i guess.

i lost my v card to him and he was my first kiss and i accidentally got pregnant (unwillingly had an abortion).

he would talk me through with my depression on occasion though, and he’s the only one i could talk to about the baby ‘we’ lost. he didn’t want it, i did, but that’s whatever.

he’s blocked me on everything and deleted all his accounts. uhh

how do i cope? i’m overwhelmed with everything, and he was my main outlet for my dysphoria. and knowing that i’m relationship dependent, i don’t really have faith in finding another cis guy that’s going to be as accepting as he was.