Anybody....help....

Hey y'all so my period is due today but last week I went to the bathroom and wiped and saw very very very very light pink but it was mid day and thats all I been having slight cramps and lower back pains....then yesterday I went to check my cervix and it was high and soft but I saw again very very very very light pink but again thats was it my boobs are slightly tingly I threw up twice in a week like round 1 or 2 in the morning but been feeling nausea throughout the day....never felt like before except when I was getting off depo which was last year and I'm scared to take a test because I soooooooo want my rainbow baby....and I'm scared it will be negative and my period just starts....dont think I can handle the disappointment again can somebody please help if they can....