Ok so, I’ve been in my relationship about 2 months now. Relationships great, sex is great but not all the time. When my boyfriend and I first got together, we would do the deed every few days or so. It was great at first but nowadays he legit only does one position and that’s missionary. It’s not just plain ol missionary, he usually put my legs on his shoulders or just one leg on his shoulder but the session is over within a couple minutes after oral. I try to show him different and new things but he kinda has “let’s get it done and over with type” type of attitude about it 😕 before I got with him I was content being single and hooking up with the same 2-3 people but in early June I was raped roughly. So rough it knocked my egg down and started my period a couple weeks early. It really kinda messed up my vaginal canal because my boyfriend is super rough sometimes when we have sex and I tell him it hurts and to slow down but by then he’s already came. Sex has always been a must in my relationships just bc I love it lol.

But anyways, I’m happily in a relationship with a person I’ve always had a crush on but sometimes I catch myself thinking about my ex-hook up buddy’s and how great the sex was. Idk why I feel guilty thinking about it. I think just my boyfriend being there for me around the time the rape happened is why I’m with him, because none of my friends were there for me. I’m just stuck and I don’t know what to think or how to feel when it’s time to do the deed. It’s just the same everytime and it’s getting old.

Thanks for reading my rant and if you’d like to comment any advice you are welcome to.