I’m now the very happy mother of 2 beautiful little boys. I’m 4 days PP with my littlest one and my husband is off for a month to help out and to bond with him. I’ve been feeling pretty good overall - motherhood the second time around is a breeze (by which I mean the things that terrified me or worried me to death the first time no longer phase me) and I am truly soaking up every minute with my little ones.

That being said, I get struck with the deepest, saddest loneliness out of the blue and it hurts so badly.

Anytime my husband and I prepare to get rest at the same time, my heart aches. I want to be with him and I want to spend more time with him and I get physically lonely for him the moment he falls asleep. I don’t have a lot of friends - the two women I thought were my closest friends have fallen to the wayside as I become a mother of 2 and they continue to be childfree (which I’m super in support of but unfortunately we no longer have much in common) and some days I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to or to spend time with.

I want so badly to share all these amazing moments I’m having with my boys with someone and the only person I feel I really can share that with is my husband. While I love his companionship and I love sharing with him, I feel like such a loser having no one else in my life to share things with.

I wish I had a mama friend.

I wish sleep wasn’t so necessary for survival because I miss my husband.