I FELL - please respond

I’m only 4 weeks today .. I found out Sunday. I’m so flustered so frustrated my nanny called out today for my toddler, I’m working from home, he won’t stop trying to escape from his hard in play area so my husband put the high chair the jumperoo and the ottoman jnfront the the gate so he couldn’t get out - I’m busy working so I can’t stop (on the phone conducting an interview - I’m a recruiter) to tell him to leave all that shit alone and get out the door go to his meeting and let me handle everything like I always do.

My son needs a nap I’m so overwhelmed working and caring for him bc I’m so busy I’m doing a shit job at working and parenting bc neither had my full attention .. all I can think about is ringing my nanny’s neck bc she always calls out and leaves early and comes late (in the process of interviewing new people)

I step over the baby gate to grab my son to put him down for a nap and it catches my foot .. I FELL HARD.. I landed on my side but I really came crashing down and I have a scratch on my leg and thought I almost broke my toe.

I’m so thankful I wasn’t holding my son and the gate didn’t come down on him but I’m SO MAD I COULD SCREAM... mad I feel like a terrible mom today, mad at the nanny, mad that my husband thinks putting a fucking obstacle course in our small living room is the answer, mad at MYSELF for not being slower and rushing ... and I’m really scared I am going to miscarry now.

Please someone help I feel like I’m about to cry.