I feel like the worst mom in the world. 😭

My newborn won’t sleep at night. Ever. She just stays awake all night and sleeps mostly during the day unless she wakes up to feed, diaper change, etc. The whole night she is awake, wants to breastfeed every 20 minutes, and cries if we put her down (and a lot of the times cries even if we don’t). Last night was the worst night of all. My husband and I have gotten about 8hours of sleep over the past 5 days since she was born. She cried ALL NIGHT last night. Wouldn’t even nurse. We didn’t know what was wrong. I even pumped and tried bottle feeding her since I was afraid maybe she wasn’t getting enough milk. Finally, around 8:30 in the morning she went to sleep in my arms. My husband and I ended up falling asleep with her like that between us for an hour and a half and I woke up in a panic. I didn’t even remember falling asleep, and I feel like the worst mom ever for doing something that could have endangered her life. I’ve just been crying all day every time I think about it because I’ve heard so many stories of babies dying from sleeping in bed with the parents. Does any mom have any recommendation for safe sleeping that’s not in a crib or flat cradle? She just won’t sleep on a flat surface and my husband and I are so exhausted and terrified of falling asleep again with her in the bed with us. 😭