What is wrong with me 🥺

I have a boyfriend and he has a lot of guy friends so we have to hang out with them. I don’t have any friends. I’m not close to anyone in my family either.

Me and my boyfriend both have brothers. I always pictured having a daughter. I’m about to give birth to our son and I can’t help but feel disappointed. I am scared I won’t love him the same as if he were a girl. I’m also scared he will bond with his father more.

I don’t know if this is hormones or what but I just feel so completely alone and miserable. I can’t even think about it without crying. What makes it worse is that all the women I know are having girls and are so happy with their pregnancy. I know I should be thankful that my baby is healthy but I just feel empty. This is making me feel like a terrible person and a terrible mother. I only wanted one child and I always pictured it being a girl and now that future is completely gone. I’m trying to be happy I wish I didn’t have to force it.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?