So I’m deciding to post for some support and maybe someone who has the same problem after a very disheartening appt this morning.

Back track 2 years I had my daughter, was told I had 3%chance of pregnancy. 2 months later I was blessed. However, my body produced no progesterone or estrogen to support the pregnancy. I almost lost her twice ectopic and twice miscarriage due to this. I was placed on progesterone immediately until 24 weeks. At 27,32 and 34 weeks I went into labor very early. She came at 34. It was a horrible pregnancy and labor, my cervix even prolapsed in front of her head while pushing and I had to stop for painful adjustments. She’s here beautiful and I am blessed. 4 days later she was diagnosed with the genetic disease PKU. Life threatening, lifelong incurable and a full time job for me. Keeping her alive by medicated diets, drawing her blood from home weekly.

I had depression and anxiety my whole life. However after I had my daughter and the past two years it has gotten severe to the point I’ve committed myself inpatient for suicide. I’m on tons of meds. It’s messing woth my life to where I can’t function I call out of my great career as a nurse in an emergency dept because I CANNOT leave her. Yes they diagnosed post partum depression but here we are 2 years later and I am unbelievably attached to my daughter.

Fast forward to now. Last week someone told me to get my hormones tested as they can affect your mental health as well as thyroid. I went in per the doctors request today to go over the results as they were abnormal. Basic: I produce no progesterone, my estradiol level is considered postmenapausal, therefore I am Infertile.

I am crushed.