Let me start by saying that my little one is a month old and I love him so much. He is the cutest little baby and makes me so happy.

However... I am having a really hard time feeling connected to my husband. I’m not sure if it’s because we’ve been on pelvic rest since 20weeks pregnant or if it’s because I resent him. He sleeps in when the baby is crying his head off, he doesn’t really know how to soothe baby so often just passes him off to me when he is inconsolable, he gets to hang out with his friends whenever, he is usually gaming or on the computer when I’m with our son feeding/changing/napping.

Now, I don’t want to make him seem like a total monster, because he’s not. He will make breakfast/lunch/dinner when I’m tied up with baby and can’t; he is very responsive to when I ask for help to grab something or do something for me. He really tries to be present whenever I ask him to be directly. However... it’s like pulling teeth to get him to put away laundry, clean the kitchen, or empty the dishwasher. I end up doing these assorted tasks either at night when I first put baby down to bed or during the day now that I’ve figured out how to use my baby wrap and have been wearing him whole doing chores and even while eating meals. When I’ve talked to him about this, he says just ask for his help, but when I ask for his help, sometimes I don’t get it. So I don’t ask for help and do things on my own while feeling more like a single mom.

I’m wrestling with telling him how I feel. But I don’t want to be unfair or rude or start a fight. I just feel like I am doing everything and never really get a moment to myself anymore. His leave has been more like a vacation, where my leave has definitely been a maternity leave where I’m doing all the mothering plus house work.

I’m tired. I’m emotionally drained. I am starting to feel numb to my relationship with my husband.

Any help, suggestions, advice, or empathy would be great right now.

Xx