TRIGGER WARNING EATING DISORDER

Typing this so you can’t see it from feed if you don’t want to. I cannot warn you enough that this might be incredibly triggering. ❌❌❌❌❌

Hello I have an eating disorder and I am relapsing brutally. I have no idea what triggered me and what brought this on but it’s battle of control here in my head. I have not had food in 3 days besides one bite of a slice of cheese. Can’t really count that. To put it flat out, My brain is shit and it’s telling me that im going to regret it immensely if I eat and that if I eat I’ll ruin everything. However, I feel like I’m losing my mind and like my brain is melting. Not from hunger, I’m beyond that..just lack of.. fuel.

I am a little delirious to be honest.

I want and would be thankful of outsiders telling me that I’m not going to regret eating, that it’s not going to make me lose control. That’s it’s good for me and that I need it because my voice alone is not helping.

I am struggling to reach out for help because I feel like a failure and I’m incredibly embarrassed. I will get there. I’ve done it before. I just need this right now. I can’t even bring myself to open my fridge and maybe this will help. Thank you in advance. And I am sorry.