I spent twelve days on my last period. It ended last Thursday.

My husband has decided he wants a divorce. He brought it up last November, and we agreed to work through everything. It got better for a while. And then... it wasn't better anymore. He started being distant, and we didn't speak much. He started avoiding any sort of physical contact. So I asked him what happened. We spoke last Wednesday about how unhappy he is. Then we spoke again a couple of nights ago about how we needed to handle things. I don't intend to fight him, or take him for everything he's worth. We have two daughters, and I won't have a shit relationship with someone I spent 10 years with, someone that helped me create two beautiful girls, someone who has been with me through some trying shit with my mental health. But. He is right. We will both benefit from this split. And both of our daughters will, too, more so than an unhappy and toxic situation at home.

While I don't intend to fight the divorce, we do have some things we need to discuss. I did take the full day after to cry and wallow and grieve. I think, for the most part, I'm past that and I've begun planning. It still hurts, though. I keep thinking about how I've failed. I feel guilt. I hurt. I'm annoyed with myself for not being furious.

Anyway. There's the stress. That bitch uterus of mine just started throwing shit out again because of it (I assume), and you know what? Stress periods are fucking bullshit. Hormones fucking around is bullshit. Growing is bullshit.

Sigh. Carry on. I just needed to vent about some bullshit. If you read all that, thank you. ♥️