TTC in high school

Bridgit
I was 14 when i was a freshman in high school, and i never thought i'd see any light of happiness. I have battled severe depression since i almost lost my life at 10 due to e. Coli. My hospitalization, medications, and treatment all factor into why a portion of my brain doesn't produce happy chemicals as it used to. I was the most bright ray of sunshine as a kid, and after i became a dark wet rain cloud. 
When i started dating my first serious boyfring who was 3 years older, we became what we thought was in love. He was abusive in a mental and emotional way at first and as our relationship grew it became worse. Eventually i thought the only way i'd be happy would be if I thought i had a child. Something to give my life purpose, or someone. And i thought that boyfriend would be my husband and we'd be so happy forever. That dream ended when he began to start physical fights. He'd pin me to a wall, holding me there by my neck. He'd stop me in any way from leaving, and weighing 110 to his 180 I didn't have much choice. He then tried to force me into pregnancy without my knowledge, and i luckily never conceived. 
I left that guy now 2 years ago, and he still to this day tries to get me to come back to him. Since then i did concieve with my current boyfriend and, due to the unplanning and the current state of my health, had an abortion that i still question to this day. 
My point is, no matter where you think you are in high school, at such a young age it's not a good or wise decision to have a child. Being TTC at 14-17 is so questionable because you don't have means to support your new family alone and you don't know who you are with truely is. It took me 3 years to find out and leave who i was with then. And a pregnancy with him meant him Having control over me and a forever bond to me.