I’ve been single for nearly three years.

I’m 19 and the guy I was with, I was with for 2 1/2 years and he was also my first and only boyfriend.

He did a lot of damage to me mentally during our time together and even after our time together.

I’m to the point now where I would like to date but I just can’t seem to get interested in anyone ever, I don’t really know how to explain it.

Then when my friends try to set me up with someone I get scared and back out. It’s just a mess, I feel like at this age I should be having fun, going on dates, etc.

But all I do is stay home, read and I have a four year old with that very ex so I’m with him all the time.

I see all my friends dating and having casual relationships and I just don’t understand why it’s so freaking hard for me to do that? Why am I so weird??

I feel like I’m missing out but I just can’t find someone I’m interested in, I’ve even tried and thought well I’ll give it some time and maybe I’ll become interested. I talked to this guy for months and just couldn’t like him in any way other than a friend. (That was also two years ago, that was the first and last time I tried that. Also he knew where I stood with all of that and understood and was okay with that.)

**Not bringing any of them around my child until I know it’s serious and I see the person being in my life for a long time. I don’t like that, I don’t believe in that. You can still date without them being around your child.

**And I think the reason it worries me so much is I’m just scared that I’ll be like this forever due to the things my ex put me through. I’ve healed from a lot of it but some things I haven’t healed from completely, I don’t want to be like this forever. I want to be able to casually date, have fun, instead of being so scared to be in relationship/date that I don’t even give a guy a chance.