Please give encouragement

Ok so i left my toxic/ abusive relationship FOR GOOD. Its been 10 years & we have a 10 month old. He is honestly so controlling if I wanted to go out with friends he would need to control every detail & for years i just couldn’t. He drinks uncontrollably & blacks out.. he usually tells me how he hates me, throws drinks on me, sometimes hits me (& he’ll hit me when he doesn’t agree with me, even sober) , he cheated our WHOLE RELATIONSHIP.. physically & emotionally bc he was saying he loves her (same girl for the past like 7 years too, kept catching them) i know i’m STUPID. He cheated with me on valentines months after we lost our first child. Had me saved in his phone as bitch & her as baby. Also I pay for EVERYTHING he throws me 20/50 like once a month & swears he’s dad of the year. He does watch our son while i work but i work 11-7 & he goes straight to play games or anything else but help me so i can sleep a little. It didn’t even feel like a relationship no passion.. (not even simple things like hugs, kisses, compliments) just sex. Ok so despite all of that I always want/wanted whats best for him.. i made sure he was alway good clothes/food /games lol seriously like i just never wanted him to feel alone or depressed bc I think he truly is depressed. But I realized that by taking care of him i’m killing myself & I’ve become depressed as well.. i used to be so happy. I’ve also developed anxiety. I was constantly putting myself last & now i know that its ok if i cant fix him.. its not my job & I deserve to be happy. To know what its like to be with someone who cares. Also to not be walking on eggshells all the time. & the most important is that i wont be raising my son in a tense toxic loveless environment. He deserves a happy mom too. Someone who isnt just on auto pilot & drinking constantly to cope with being unhappy. Well i know I should be happy but tbh it feels scary, sad, foreign because for so long i went with the flow trying not to make waves. & really daunting thinking about untangling 10 years & even more devastating hurting someone who i love so much, was never my intention but i’m dying inside. He started crying begging me and i had enough courage to finally just say that we cannot do this anymore. That we both deserve better. Soooo if you read this all THANK YOU. & please give advice/wisdom/encouragement to go on.