Is there something wrong with me !?

So... there’s this guy I’ve been dating for quite a bit & we pop kiss, Ive sucked on his tongue, I’ve grabbed his dick, I’ve even taken guy from his mouth but for some reason i always freak out when he wants to KISS me. I don’t know how to kiss I’ve never kissed before or made out. It’s not that i don’t want to i DEFINITELY do 🥵 it’s just i freak out and then i just turn away. I don’t want to freak out i want to just do it because if anything he can teach me. I just want to not freak out and get it over with and i keep thinking “stop being a pussy DO IT Yk damn well you want to” but then in the moment I’m like “OH SHIT 😵 yeeet” then i turn my head & i don’t want him to think that i don’t want to because that is not it.