Anyone else scared to take a test?

I was married 4 years ago I tried getting pregnant with my husband for a year and nothing. Everytime I peed on a stick it was negative and I'm sure a lot of you already know how heart breaking it is. Long story short I separated with my husband 3 years ago after that i was just having fun not being careful. Hoping for an oops lol nothing ever happened. Now I have a boyfriend I've been with for almost a year and we've been trying to get pregnant. In the begining not so hard trying but the last two months we've been on it. My period was supposed to come today but nothing. I've been cramping for what seems like weeks. I dont want to sike myself out because I was one of those woman who thought it just wasn't going to happen for me. On the 24th I thought I was getting my period I wiped and it was just a little pink streak then nothing since then. Idk if its still early should I wait till i miss my whole period? Should i still think my period is just late? Someone give me words of encouragement because if i pee on that stick and i see negative I feel like all those heartbreaking emotions are gonna come back 😔