Am I desperate or is it real?

I have had bad cramp (HSG test kind) for 3 days now. Joked abou having contraction to my husband. Made a joke about maybe not knowing I was pregnant all along and now I'm in labour. So I decided to take a home PT just so. And I got a not clear result. I have never gotten a faint line before. So I am wondering, am i just seeing the second line because i want i so bad (ttc 1 year months) or is i really there?
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