Needing to rant....overwhelmed

My lo is 40 days old, and since the first two weeks of her life we have battled a milk allergy and horrid reflux that doesnt seem to want to go away....even on meds and a special formula.....you cant lay this poor baby down to change her diaper with out massive spit up and crying in pain....😭😭😭 whats worse is am breaking all the rules to comfort her....I let her sleep on my chest on bad night cause all she does is cry....then I try to move her to her wedge bed or her boppy pillow in our bed....my mother made me feel like a total failure.....she told me if Anna was breast fed that this wouldn't have happened....we have to do formula do to my meds.....and plus she told me that holding her all time is gonna ruin her😭😭😭😭😭 and I just feel like am fucking this all up....