How can people ask that?

Question

So my husband and have been trying for a baby basically since we got married( 10 years) 😭. So out of the blue one of my best friends, that I haven’t talked to in a while asks “are you pregnant yet?” I have not responded because one it caught me off guard, and two it felt as if a knife went through my ❤️. I know she is not trying to hurt me but it really does sting. I just am trying to be strong here at work even though I want to ball my eyes out.

Answer

I'm so sorry.. we have ttc for 8 years for #1 with unexplained infertility and failed fertility cycles...it is so heart breaking and defeating. 😭😭

Answer

Ugh. I Kno exactly how you feel. First of all, we are going through each day sooooo sensitive. The most mundane conversation can make us feel like we need to retreat to protect ourselves. At work, a colleague gave her 2 weeks notice, and on her last day I was asking her what she was doing next because she was moving out of state. She said "My husband got a great job and we are ready to start a family, so..." And I honestly felt the wind knocked out of me. I had just had a miscarriage two weeks earlier and have had 5 IUIs, 2 IVf and 2 miscarriages. Never gotten pregnant naturally, unexplained infertility. The reminder that most people can literally just plan their lives and make it happen is so painful for me at this point. I don't have any answers for us unfortunately but please at least know that there are lots of women struggling with you.

Answer

We’ve been trying since we got married too. 8 yrs. Some people just expect you to have kids at a certain age. I think it’s rude and it hurts. Mother’s Day is especially hard day for me because my mom passed away 6 yrs ago. It’s a double whammy... I don’t have kids and I lost my mom. People I don’t know wish me happy Mother’s Day. I try not to go anywhere on that day. It’s so hard. I still keep hope that we can have a child because I’m still having my periods and I’ve been more regular these last several years than anytime in my life. I also think it’s in God’s hands and if we never have children then mayb there’s a good reason. Mayb I’m meant to help family more which I wouldn’t b able to do if I had children. This summer I started traveling 5 hrs every other week to stay with my Gma to help my uncle who has been staying with her. She is 89 and gets around well. Just forgets things sometimes. I’m happy I can help her but it’s hard being away from my husband and home and our fur babies. I totally understand how hard it is answering questions about having kids. I’d like to tell you it gets easier, but it doesnt. So hard to want something so bad and not be able to. I feel for you but you are not alone even though it feels like it when everyone around you is having babies.

Answer

Oh honey im so sorry :( I know the feeling I'm  in the same boat:(( not easy at all we have been trying for a very long time as well

How can people ask that?

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