Impending miscarriage

The news come back this morning that I’m likely having a miscarriage. My third miscarriage. I’m 8w6d today and haven’t had any miscarriage symptoms like my previous two. I still feel pregnant, I have all the pregnancy symptoms and haven’t had any bleeding. But yet here i sit, 9w I’m trying to deal with the news. It started with a dating ultrasound last week finding no heartbeat with a gestational sac measuring 6w5d and the possibility of a fetal pole. The radiologist was hopeful, and said typically no heart beat is seen until the 7w mark. We had blood tests done Monday and my numbers were good, my hcg was 54500! So we were really hopeful that maybe dating was just off. I had a second test Wednesday, It come back this morning. The doctor had said it should be doubling, or at least going up. If it come back lower it is most definitely a miscarriage. It come back today 50000. The last week has felt like a roller coaster. Starting with excitement to see our little one, to being told no heartbeat. Having really good hcg levels, to seeing that they have started to decline. The realization that even though I still feel pregnant, I am not. I am 3 miscarriages in and I feel lost. Feeling like there is something wrong with me, but not having a clue what my body is doing that could cause this. To come to the realization that I am dealing with infertility, that all likelihood I could continue to have recurrent miscarriages. It is a hard pill to swallow. I am however extremely lucky to have a beautiful one year old, and the ability to get pregnant. I guess from here, as difficult as it may be, I have to stay positive and hopeful for the future. 🤞🏼🌈