Am I wrong?

Question

My boyfriend is a bit older then me. I’m 24 (almost 25 in 2 months)  and he’s turning 35 on Labor Day He works in the medical field and he’s keeps telling me his biological clock is ticking. 
He’s been wanting a baby for the past year. I had my first baby when I was 16. I married my daughters dad and it was such a f**k up! He thankfully put me through nursing school but I was young and dumb and thought I loved him. We had a courthouse wedding, no one but his friend was there to sign as a witness. 
My father is still around (he’s 72) and I want to do things right 😞 I want my boyfriend to ask for my hand in marriage. I want my father to walk me down the isle. I want to have a wedding, I feel like I deserve one. 
My boyfriend tells me we will get married soon. Buuuuut, he wants a baby soooo bad like right NOW. But I can’t have my wedding?? 😓 I know he’s still very young but try telling a provider that 🙄 He won’t listen. Annnd his family keeps pressuring us that they want a baby. And it’s ONLY him they say that to, not his siblings.
My friend says I just need to do it because 1.) my daughter isn’t getting any younger in fact, she’s “up there in age for another sibling” aka she’s getting too damn old 2.) I have a good man, that wants to have a baby and is financially stable.
I just don’t know what to do 😓 I’m ready to give in and start trying but there’s a little part of me that tells DONT GET THAT F’IN IUD OUT KEEP FIGHTING FOR YOUR WEDDING
Am I wrong for ‘withholding a baby’ from him or should I keep fighting for my wedding?

Answer

You should have a baby when you’re ready for one. Don’t let anyone pressure you into having one.

Answer

Men don’t have a biological clock 😂 They can produce sperm until the day they die.
Don’t let him pressure you in to something you’re not ready for! If you want to be married first, don’t back down.
Hopefully he’ll wrap his head around the wedding idea and then the rest will fall into place.

Answer

I agree with you Definitely wedding then baby!

Answer

He’s 35 and will continue to produce sperm FOREVER. He has no biological clock “rush” like a woman would since we have a limit on our fertility. Him being impatient would be going against your wishes for your body and there’s no need for that. Your wedding doesn’t have to be one that takes years to plan either! Also it sounds like your daughter is 8 or 9? I was 10.5 when my sister was born and I loved being a big sister when I was little, I was able to help a ton and we are very close now. Do what you want!

Answer

It doesn’t make sense to me why he wants a baby so bad but not a wedding.

Answer

What each of you want is fairly important, and time restricted. So I think when he says the wedding will come you ask for an estimate like down to year and month and once y’all have that figured out and you guys are committed to it and progress has been made in regards to when the wedding then I think it’ll be safe to try for the baby

Answer

Men do have a biological clocks if he’s referring to birth defects, mental illnesses and development issues 🙄 I’ve worked first hand with a DOCTOR who spoke to me about this and why he wasn’t having kids even though he was ONLY 32! Not read from an article. My father was 50 when they conceived my younger brother and he’s actually schizophrenic and had developmental delays when he was in elementary school. So I actually believe in that a lot. 
But anyyyywayyyysssss, back to the topic, ALTHOUGH HE HAS A POINT, fight for your wedding girl, if that’s what you want first. It’s YOURRRR uterus 🤣

Answer

I think it's fine to insist that you want to be married before trying for a baby.
However, there's probably some room for compromise on the wedding. Maybe he's envisioning a huge, expensive affair that's at least a year out from the engagement date and after you spend all this money on the wedding there won't be a lot left for baby.
But, you can have a more simple wedding where you still get to have your father walk you down the aisle and have a nice ceremony with close family and friends without spending an arm and a leg. And you could have it planned and done in a couple of months!
First step is to really talk about it and understand what his concerns are and to communicate the things that are really important to you.

Answer

Stick to what you want. A wedding then a baby! If he wants a baby that bad, he can most definitely put a ring on it. Don’t compromise what you want on that.

Answer

??? Seriously, since WHEN is a WHOLE DAMN BABY/LIFE less of a commitment than marriage???😐😐😐 
I would for sure make it known that you will be sticking to your guns and won't be having another child until you're happily married. And honestly anybody who ever dared to make any comments about "your child is getting too old for a sibling" or anything of the likeness can just fuck off 🤷 why would it be so terrible for your child to be older, and a little bit wiser, before a baby arrives?? It wouldnt. I honestly would prefer 4 to 8 years in between my children, not just for my own sake, but because I've always wanted my first child to be able to be there to help and defend their younger sibling.

Am I wrong?

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