Hi,

Just after some advice please..

I didn’t have much of a family growing up, my mum and “sperm doner” was together for a long time.. but he was very abusive towards her, a massive drug addict and just an awful person! To get away from all the horrible stuff at home I use to go to my “aunties” which was my mums best friend.. it was like going to family there, felt safe! I don’t really remember what age I was as such, approx 7-10 I think! He was approx 2 years older

My aunties nephew so I called him my “cousin” lived next door so I was always between the houses.. I always remember him being VERY protective of me and this one time in particular I remember me, him and his sister was playing and he wrote me a love letter or something and we was in the bed, I remember his sister “keeping watch” at the door after and he put his hands down my tights and on my private area, I always remember his hands being really warm and he said it was normal.

I never really knew what to make of it, when we was at the same school he was always really jealous if I had boyfriend and when he found out I had sex he went CRAY CRAY!! The more I think about it the more I think.. there was a lot of emotional abuse, very odd behaviour! When I turned 15 I had enough and just fell out with him over his behaviour, I never told my mum because she was raped and sexually assaulted when she was younger.. but now I’m starting to wonder if I should of said something or is it too late?

We don’t see them anymore so it’s not like a constant reminder but when I do in passing it just makes me feel sick, I’ve started to think should I tell my mum? Or is it best just to leave it unsaid. I have had counselling for a lot of stuff I’ve been through and I do struggle with depression but I’m not sure what the right thing to do is? any advice would be great!! Thank you for reading