Am I being unreasonable?

Question

*long post sorry*
We have a trip to London booked for the first weekend of October and it’s about 3-3.5hrs drive (plus any rest stops for me and my uncontrollable bladder) - I’m due on the 17th.
I’m struggling really badly with SPD and acid reflux so sleep has become a thing of the past and I feel at the moment that pain is all I know. I don’t want to but I’m bringing my maternity leave forwards more than I’d have liked to as I can’t cope with the pain and hour commute (drive) each way - I find it painful to drive (changing pedals pulls at my pubic bone).
I’ve had really bad anxiety about this trip for a few weeks now as we’re going with another couple, some good friends of ours and sharing an apartment with them. The trip is for a running event my partner and his friend signed up to quite some time ago (before I got pregnant) and it was pretty expensive. 
I’ve said for a few months now I’d wait and see how I feel but I’ve reached breaking point now and told him I really don’t want to go. I don’t want to be far from home that close to my due date and I’m uncomfortable sharing an apartment with other people whilst I’m in so much pain and my body is all over place.
My other half didn’t take any notice and just told me i would be fine. I asked what we would do if I went into labour early and had her a week or so before we’d be meant to go and he thinks we’d take a week or so old baby on a trip which I absolutely do not want to do. The only way at the minute he’s sees us not going is if I have baby early and have to have a csection because he knows the recovery for that takes much longer. 
I haven’t broached it yet but I have a feeling he might still go without me and leave me at home (I hope he doesn’t but this is just my gut feeling). It would be just my luck that that would be the weekend I go into labour and he misses the birth, and I don’t think I’d ever forgive him for that.
Am I being unreasonable not wanting to go? I know babies are unpredictable and I could even go 2 weeks over, we’ve paid a lot of money for this trip and whilst it would grieve me to lose it I don’t want to be far from home so close to my due date. I think he’s more concerned about letting our friends down but they’re a good couple and I know they’d understand. I’m so stressed out 🙁

Answer

I think he’s being unreasonable asking that of you so close to your due date and clearly has no empathy for how you’re feeling. The fact he thinks you would take a one week old on a trip too is ridiculous and he obviously has no clue how the first few weeks are like cause it’ll be lucky if you get to shower etc let alone a trip ! Can you get money back ?

Answer

you are not being unreasonable at all you're due date is too close for comfort same as you said you could be early or go over it's not worth risking it. I'm due Jan 16th and I was supposed to be going away for Christmas and I thought 3 weeks was abit close but didnt want to say anything to my partner but he mentioned that he wasnt comfortable with it either so we made the decision together to cancel the trip

Answer

I honestly would not go no matter what he says. It’s way to close to your due date and babies are unpredictable so I wouldn’t risk it. If he wants to go just to please his friends and not caring if he misses the birth then he’s a jerk. Even if you don’t give birth till after your due date, I can’t imagine a 3 hour drive in the last couple weeks of pregnancy. You’re not gonna enjoy anything at all. I would put my foot down and say I’m not going. 
You’re not being unreasonable, you just don’t wanna risk anything and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Answer

I’d go an make sure whatever I need to be comfortable, I get from him. Taking as many stops, pee breaks etc...and leg room... Make him wait on you Hand and Foot . Even the drive, if he’s not doing it... let him fly you there or something or hire a driver. 
I say this because clearly he will never let you live this up. The conversation on the money he will claim you wasted by not going will never die down. It will also affect the babies coming regardless and could set the tone for the next few weeks or months and I personally think your peace of mind is paramount when you’re about to bring a new born into the world. He could resent you and the child and is the 3.5 hr drive worth that for your baby? 
Sit your husband down. Look him in the face and explain each and every ache to him. Give rules for this trip. (He May even have to get you a doula ) if the money you spent on it is that outrageous. Be vocal. 
Men already feel like sometimes babies take attention from them( seeing as they’re big babies themselves) You can imagine him dreading the fact that you’re so close to your due date and how that energy will take over your mind whether he’s around or not. Are you willing to go into Labour on your own Incase his away? Consider all this. 
And no you’re not being Unreasonable. You’re in a tough spot .

Answer

Can someone explain what SPD means in this context because, in this country, it’s a political party? 😳

Answer

No way would I be going anywhere that far away so close to my due date! What happens if you go into labor on your trip?? Is it worth the risk? And his idea of taking a brand new baby?? And sharing an apartment when the baby is up all night? And you will still be recovering at that point vaginal or c-section. I don’t have anything important planned for the entire month before I’m due. You just never know what’s going to happen. And I totally feel you on the pain, girl. I’m typing this at 4:15 am. I’m due October 14.

Answer

Your absoultely not being unreasonable. I think it's difficult for men to empathise because even I maybe wouldn't have thought it was a big deal (being a female) before actually being pregnant.
I think you need to verbalise how your feeling and your concerns and he should be understanding. If he isn't then alarm bells would be ringing because it sounds to me like he isn't prioritising you and your baby.
If he wants to go and your comfortable with it cant you just send someone in his place, friend, sibling etc.?

Answer

I definitely wouldn't go that close to my due date.
Not unreasonable at all xx

Answer

You’re not being unreasonable, I wouldn’t want to go either! Plus I feel like that’s way to close to due date, a 3 hour drive In labour would be terrible

Am I being unreasonable?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey