I am beginning to measure myself in strength, not pounds.
I am 7 weeks + 3 days pregnant. I feel the bloat, I’m 9 stone 3 and my belly feels huge and uncomfortable. No, I don’t have a bump. I’m just really really bloated.
I feel sick 24/7, I have zero energy to do anything and I’m consistently googling things about my pregnancy. I spend 99.9% of my day thinking about my body. When I see other girls wearing jeans that don’t have a little belly poking through I then look at myself and think... oh crap.
“But you’re pregnant!!” Yeah... but I’m only 7 weeks and don’t have a bump sooooo?
It all started when I went to meet a friend for lunch to tell her the news, I was 6 weeks and the first thing she did was touch my belly and say “are you pregnant”... I was so insulted.
The duration of the lunch she said things like “if you’re this big now imagine how big you’re gonna get towards the end” I did explain to her MANY times that I’m not showing and it’s my normal belly but she was all “nooo, you are showing, you’re more curvy now”
I wasn’t able to get excited about my pregnancy because she made me feel like I had to worry about my belly... she was talking about going to the gym to work out and saying how I will find it difficult to loose the baby weight.
I’ve spent over a week overthinking about my body changes, getting upset questioning if my bf is still going to find me attractive. Well no more, I’m growing a baby!! I’m starting a family!! I don’t care what my belly looks like after I give birth or how it takes me to lose the weight, maybe I never will? I’m gonna be too busy concentrating on my god damn baby to make sure he/she has the best start in life.
So while she uploads her perfect Instagram selfie at the gym and her chicken and rice meals to her story. I’m gonna be focusing on what’s actually important. I’m the strong one here. Not her.
Maybe when it’s her turn to start a family, il be back to where I was, maybe I won’t. But at least I know I won’t critique and judge and belittle her and make her more emotional than she needs to be.
Girls, don’t let anyone make you feel a certain type of way. I’m measuring myself In strength, not pounds. Sometimes in smiles and I win.
Let yourself win too ❤️