Me and my ex have been together for a year and a half. We broke up this past weekend. It was a lead up of things that came to this point. In the beginning he said that he didn't like me at all but over time he started to like me and we started dating. He stopped going out with me because he said we didn't mix well in public so instead he just hung out with me at his house all the time. There were some unhealthy behaviors in the relationship that I had. I let myself go, I was going through depression, I stopped eating a lot, my hygiene wasn't the best, I dressed like a mom. It took months for me to get out of that and to improve. He said that I made a lot of progress but when I messed up I felt like all that progress was wiped away. We argued a lot about little things that weren't as big as you think. He said that I didnt take accountability for my actions and I played the victim. Ive apologized for all the things I have done wrong and felt guilty. Ive worked hard to change myself and some of my ways but it felt like he wanted me to be something I'm not even though he said he wanted me to be myself. His thing was that little things turn into big things. He talked.to his ex when we.were together he said it was closure but he was talking to her about his job interview and such. We broken up a lot and got back together. I knew this wasn't right halfway in. I was always thinking I wasn't good enough and always trying to change to get him to love me and pick me. We got engaged 7~8 months in and he said he was going to buy the ring over the weeks but never did. He said I never loved him and that I was obsessed with him. I loved him very much even with his flaws and when he felt low about himself. He said I got the good end of the stick with him and he got the bad end of the stick with me. But when he was sick and nobody cared I helped him and encouraged him, when he lost his job I supported him and helped out in the house, I stood by him for a lot when we were together. I used to complain when he had to go back to his country for 4 years because we were engaged and I would miss him I suggested to go down with him and find a job he rejected the fact of me going down. But things got bad this weekend we had sex and the morning after I woke up and picked up his cat pet it for a minute and he yelled at me saying I told you not to hold my cat you never listen it doesn't want to be held but it did it was purring a lot. I said I had to pick up the cat to put it out like you wanted. The he told he didn't want the relationship it was too much for him. After I got his plane.ticket home he was like I want you to meet my friends and the week before he was like I wanna build a home and buisnesses with you. He hasn't been attracted to me for awhile. I cried in his house for 2-3 hours I didn't know what to do. He expected me to be ok and act like nothing happened. He said that if I didnt leave he would call the cops cause he didn't want me to ruin/waste his day. At the end after I was done crying he put his hand on my leg and said I love you, I want you. Is that what you want to hear? I cried and said it was fake. It was a lie. Then he yelled at me for accidentally charging $2 to his account because I typed the wrong pin on his card. I though I knew the pin he told me. So I called him and let him know I tried the pin 2xs and it was wrong. I told him I'm sorry it was an accident. He yelled at me and said it's always an accident with you take responsibility. It's your fault which I know it was.my fault but it was an accident as well. What put the nail in the coffin as well is when I deleted all his Amazon saved items and lists. Then we started saying nasty things about each other and I brought up things that would hurt his feelings. He called me an evil person told his family and said he never wants to date or cross paths with me. He thought I was a good person but he said I'm not. My mom and my family thought he was emotionally and mentally abusing me. His thing was that he couldn't let go of my past mistakes I made when I was with him. I never cheated. But if I made a mistake even a little one it would remind him of the past and he said he would use the past as a reference. But I still love him for some reason and still miss him. His family sides with him and my family sides with me even though they admit I have my moments. He said I could have left awhile ago he never chased me I chased him but I believed in his words when he said he wanted a future with me and a family and home. Now I feel more broken than I was.