Ready zap

I am trying to be less aggressive and more understanding and calm but it's like he not changing he yell slam stuff  say mean shit under his breath or out loud but today he just been trying to pick a fight every little I say he is so aggressive and I have been ignoring it am smiling but now I am pissed and I asked him why you picking he yelled and said I anit got time to be fussing what to do it takes two people to change but it feels like I am the only one and when I zap he look at me like the worse gf in the world and all progress is out the window