I’m 18, 5’6, and have absolutely no idea how much I weigh - but I’m assuming a little above what I should be.

I hate my body. It’s a rare occurrence I look in the mirror and think “I’m beautiful” or even “I’m alright!”. When I’m naked, I always suck in anywhere around a mirror or my boyfriend (who always assures me I’m gorgeous and sexy).

I go through the usual pattern of calorie counting and working out obsessively for a week, then binging my brains out, having a mental breakdown and starting the process all over again.

I’m at the beginning of that cycle this week 🙃 3 days of eating 1200 calories whilst burning 2000.

I know it’s not sustainable but every single time I start this routine up again I tell myself it’ll be different, I’ll stay motivated, I’ll be GOOD.

My Instagram explore page is packed to the rafters with gorgeous models with tiny waists, big booties and toned tummies. I will compare myself to these girls...but I always go a step further, by comparing myself to random people on the street I see daily.

I will walk through my university campus and think to myself “I’m thinner than her” “oh she’s thinner than me” “she’s got a bigger butt” “I’ve got bigger boobs”...these are very intrusive thoughts I deal with constantly.

I can’t even enjoy being at the gym, always looking at who is fitter than me.

With summer coming up for us Southern Hemisphere residents, I am dreading getting on the beach and feeling intensely uncomfortable with myself.