Is this normal?

I went in to see my midwife today for my 12 week appointment and she was expecting to be able to hear baby's heartbeat on the fetal doppler, and she couldn't find it after trying for a long while and trying a different doppler as well..... after having had 4 miscarriages even tho ige not had any cramping, or any spotting at all..... idk... is this normal? I have an appointment for tomorrow to hopefully get an ultrasound.... but I'm dying inside... can't afford to go to the hospital, don't have health insurance or enough $ to go to a clinic or anything. My appointment tomorrow is at a free non profit womans clinic that I've been to before....

Idky I'm posting this... maybe to vent, or to ask if this has happened to anyone else? (Not hearing the heartbeat at 12 weeks on a doppler) I wanted to cry right away but didn't want to in front of my midwife and have kind of gone numb since then.....