Don’t mind me I’m just ranting. My love just joined the navy a couple months ago and recently just got out of bootcamp. He is currently in A school. However I just been feeling really sad. Like I’m so happy when I’m talking to him and finally seeing him at his graduation and being able to be held by him only for a day was great.

I’m so happy I can talk otp with him now and text him and hear something back within at least some hours but i still feel saddened. We used to see each other everyday. No we didn’t live in the same house but we lived like 5-10 minutes away from each other. We’d see each other all the time. Hangout almost every day even if it was only for a couple hours. We grown so much individually but also grew as a couple. It kinda went hand and hand. We pointed out each other’s flaws and negatives and worked on them bc we only felt comfortable with our true selves with each other. No judgement no need to build protection walls.

Now he’s hours away. And I knew this was happening but with more stuff at my house happening, it makes it harder. I don’t feel like I have a home. Don’t get me wrong I love my mom to death but the house isn’t a home. Everyone in the house feels that way. He is my home. I felt safe and loved and wanted and my true self with him. Now that he is gone I feel like he took some of me with him. I know some would say , “you might wanna get over it bc deployment is the same” and I know that but it’s not even just the distance. I feel like in a span of 3 months, the loml was taken from me and I have to wait months till we can be together again without any barriers (I mean possible deployments ofc)

And yes we are young. Young love is likely to end. It can be impulse and changed over time. Some would say “go live an individual life and explore. If y’all come back together, then try it out” but in my experience, you don’t let bonds like that go. Not that easily. I have a realistic head on my shoulders but this guy is someone I’m willing to take a risk for.

Thanks for listening to my ted talk 🥴