Its been seven months and I still cry. My depression got so bad at one point that I became very suicidal. I thought about it CONSTANTLY. I couldn’t trust myself to drive by myself because I would always think to myself how easy it would be to veer off of the bridge into the river. It actually terrified me how easily I could have done it. My fiancé was terrified and was desperate to help me in any way. I ended up asking my fiancé to leave because I thought being alone might help. In some ways it did. But I didn’t realize how hard that was for him because he wanted to be with me so he could heal too. I cry every morning as I’m driving to work. I don’t know what it is but it always creeps into my mind when I’m doing anything quiet like that. I still wake up screaming. I still see it’s little face every time I close my eyes. All ten of it’s fingers and all ten of it’s toes. Labor Day was my would-have-been due date. I was so confused on how to feel that day. I wanted to cry. But I also felt I had no right to mourn because of the decision I made. I’m about to turn 26 and I am in a much better spot career-wise and financially. I’m moving out on my own tomorrow. I have my own car now. I’m still visiting my fiancé as often as possible and we both still want to get married. But I feel so guilty about it all. If this was my life seven months ago, we would be holding our little one...