Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Question

So my SO is mad because I really don’t want anyone coming to the hospital at least for the first day when I have the baby.  I’m a first time mom and I just don’t feel comfortable having a lot of ppl.  He wants his mom there and his side of the family and he’s getting mad because I said no.  I don’t plan on letting my family be there.  Also is it rude for me to tell his family and mine not to post my baby.  Because we don’t get on social media so I do not plan on posting her. Should I feel bad?

Answer

Do not feel bad!! You are the one going through labour and delivery and it's so overwhelming at the hospital with the nurses and doctors coming in often to check on you and baby. Everyone will meet your baby soon enough. It's so smart to give yourself a chance to just breathe and enjoy your new baby and rest!!

Answer

No you’re not wrong. You’re the one having a baby. You are the one who will be in pain after birth, likely have no sleep and be going through tons of body changes. You have every right to not want anyone at the hospital at all. I was naive with my first and had my parents, my SO parents, each of our grandmas and his siblings allowed to come visit while I was in the hospital and it was the worst mistake I ever made! By the end of the day I was SO exhausted I could not function. I was too embarrassed to even get up and use the bathroom while they were there because of my physical state and it was just ridiculous. My SO agreed it was way too much so this time we are having no one. I don’t even want anyone at my house honestly. I’m making everyone wait 2-3 weeks before I have any visitors. Having a baby is hard and I’m bein so selfish this time lol

Answer

I had similar feelings to yours and my daughters dad wasn’t having it. To keep the peace in our very rocky and terrible relationship I sucked it up. His nasty mother brought over every single friend, cousin, great aunt, neighbor, etc. If she knew somebody she gave them the hospital baby floor code to come up and meet my baby. It was awful and I fully regret not putting my foot down on all of my ex’s family.

Answer

your baby your rules. you’re the one who is the patient in the hospital, not your SO. 
i’m doing the same, except our parents are allowed there & our siblings. but other than that i don’t want anyone there either. 🤷🏽‍♀️😊

Answer

Not to be harsh, but when your SO goes through giving birth he can decide who can visit him. Until then he has to respect your wishes. And it's absolutely not rude to make it clear to everyone that you don't want your child posted on social media. We have the exact same rule, nobody got offended so far.

Answer

I don’t want people at the hospital for the first two hours bc that’s our initial bonding time with just the three of us as a family. My MIL made the comment yesterday that she already told her work that as soon as she gets the phone call that baby is coming shes leaving work. So I just straight out told her, well for the first two hours after she’s born we won’t be letting anybody visit. 🤷🏻‍♀️ its your baby, so it’s totally up to you. I would just sit down with your SO and actually have a conversations about your feelings and explain why you feel the way you do.

Answer

You aren’t wrong, but you and hubby need to talk about it and come to a decision together.  If a normal vaginal delivery, you go home 24 hours later.  I didn’t want anyone visiting at the hospital, but hubby didn’t agree.  I compromised by allowing his brother and sis in law to come that evening (12 hours after birth) but told everyone else to wait til we were home.  In terms of social media, make that known (loudly if needed) because older generation just does not get it.  I’d start talking about it long before baby is here.

Am I wrong for feeling this way?

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